I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
