what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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