I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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