people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
