i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
