Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Randomize
