i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
