i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Terrible idea I love it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
