What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
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Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
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