Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
