I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
