She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
