He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
