What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
