she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
as a side note pls kill me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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