...so i touched it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
