WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
