theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
