I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
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bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
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IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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