dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
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