How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
