Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
