It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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