sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
