all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
