After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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