I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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