plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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