We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm having to shit out rocks
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