he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
