doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
