Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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