Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
