best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
