just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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