maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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