the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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