Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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