You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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