Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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