I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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