I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
