The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We need to rekindle our bromance
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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