You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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