tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
