he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
