Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
