come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
