Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
