Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize