i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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