if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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