Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
