Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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