Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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