3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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