How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
