he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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