we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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